the not-so differences

At the computer at work. At the computer at home. Download something. Design something. Listen to new Beirut album. Buy the cheapest groceries possible (factoring prep time heavily). Do laundry, take shower, eat, sleep, go to the bathroom, try to communicate with people. It’s not really so different. Think about the future, think about the past, think about girls, worry excessively, be lazy. Make mental notes that float around, occasionally latching onto something. Think about what other people are doing in San Francisco, in Glasgow, in Israel, what I could be doing, here or there. What I am doing, why. Not really that different.

Listen to new Jens Lekman album. Zone out. Stretch. Think about doing yoga. Draw uncertain and unreliable conclusions. Change mind. Free good, free great, feel tired, try to stay awake, feel bad, mopey, fall asleep, not want to wake up, not want to sleep. Layout different possible futures. Become determined to live in the moment. Live vicariously through other people. Think about other people. Think about that last sentence in “Catcher in the Rye”, the poignant one that relates to these feelings. Wish had the internet at house to look it up. Vow not to get internet at house, living in India should be different: people living in India don’t have internet in their houses. But, yes they do, and cheaply too. It’s not so different. Not really.